Zombie Apocalypse: Rise of the Archer
(Or, five reasons why learning archery will help you survive the zombie apocalypse)
The zombies are coming! You’ve stocked up on supplies, you’ve brought the dogs inside and you’re frantically hammering sheets of Homebase MDF over the windows. (Zombie arm through glass = very possible and extremely unpleasant. Zombie arm through MDF = even worse… but hopefully less likely). So, when the dreaded moment arrives and hordes of undead are hammering on your door, what are you gonna do?
Got a gun in your bedside cabinet? Hopefully not, or ‘Her Majesty’s finest’ might want a word with you. You might have a few kitchen knives, but that means getting awfully close to those chomping teeth. What can you start practicing with right now and keep in your flat in South London (or y’know wherever you are. You don’t necessarily need to be in South London)? What’s gonna be the best damn option to get rid of the undead masses?
Oh yes, the humble – sorry, make that ‘reliable’ – bow and arrow
Used as a weapon for centuries, the bow and arrow is one ancient invention that has proven itself to countless civilisations. It may not have the gadgets and all the bells and whistles that comes with the latest firearms, but this reliable weapon has advantages of its own.
1) Less is more
So it doesn’t feature the latest technology, but simplicity is also its advantage – and yours when them zombie beasties come snapping at your heels. Easy to make (well, relatively…. try making a gun out of a tree), easy to maintain and easy to understand, the modern bow and arrow is one weapon where beginners luck or natural talent isn’t always required.
2) Silent but deadly
The bow and arrow is naturally quiet. No need for bulky –and often inaccurately named – silencers, the bow makes little noise as it projects the arrow through the air with barely a whisper. Perfect for silently disposing of hordes of zombies, or secretly hunting for food.
3) Ready, set, go
The bow may not be as light as some pistols, but it’s easy to throw on your back and great for a quick get-away. The bow and arrow is also perfect for quick loading – no need for rounds of bullets, just grab an arrow and shoot some zombies as fast as you can (see Lars Anderson). When the zombies are dead, just go and get your arrows back. You might want to clean them after this bit.
4) Waste not, want not
Not only are arrows reusable, but they’re also versatile. You can use arrows with multiple types of bow. OK ,so they may not be perfectly tuned – but they’ll still fly, whereas guns will only fire with specific bullets.. As well as this, the durability of bows, and the possibility of reusing arrows, means that your weapon may just see you through the whole apocalypse.
5) Making themselves useful
Guns are guns. But bow and arrows can do a lot more than just kill. Arrows can be set on fire to signal for help. If your bow is wooden you might want to take care during this step: a flaming bow and arrow makes a great beacon (and ready fired BBQ for the zombies to toast you on).
Bows and arrows can be used to pass messages across distances (don’t try this in the club, mind) and they can even be used for – ahem – short-range encounters with the living dead. The short-range encounter (i.e. beating to death) is also the favoured technique when being mugged whilst carrying a ‘taken-down’ take down bow – “just give me 10 minutes and I’ll be absolutely lethal”. With all that functionality at your disposal you can truly say that the bow and arrow is versatile. Just what you need when the dead rise…..
Have a go…
Still not sure the bow and arrow is your weapon of choice? Come down to 2020 Archery to try it for size (1.5 hr Have a Go’s are only £25). We promise to keep the building zombie free, although some of the hungover faces at the Saturday morning shoot may momentarily persuade you otherwise.
https://www.2020archery.co.uk/lessons-courses/have-a-go
